I’m Ready For Marriage & He’s Stalling: Proceed Carefully or Risk Losing It All
You've finally found your knight in shining armor. You've been dating for awhile and in your heart of hearts you believe he's really the one. Mr. Right.
You've run through being his wife in your mind more times than you could possibly count. It makes you excited, gitty and, well... sadly, a little frustrated.
You're totally and completely ready for marriage and living your life as Mr. & Mrs. but it seems getting engaged is nowhere on his radar.
Getting married is important to you so you don't want to just keep on dating forever without a more serious commitment. But it's starting to seem like the only way to stay with him is to settle for getting married if and when he ever decides it's the right time.
Your heart is hurting and your concerned...
Maybe He Doesn't See Me as His Wife
Which is a completely valid concern and even a possible reality.
Maybe you should just end it because time is a ticking and it simply doesn't seem like he's ever going to come around... and even if you are able to convince him will he really be all in?
Living in a constant state of wanting and wondering can cause a lot of anxiety, which might actually be causing him to stall or pull back a little.
What do you do now? You love him and want him in your life but you just really need to know if sticking with him is going to be worth it or a waste of precious time.
Maybe it's time for more drastic action? Is taking the questionable advice you've gotten from the ladies in your life what you should do?
"Give Him an Ultimatum!" They Say
"Tell him you want to get married within the year or you're leaving!"
Ultimatums seem to have become somewhat common place (and common advice) when women are desperate to get their man to do something they're resisting doing. Just force him and he'll see your right is the rationale.
It might be getting easier to convince yourself this is a good idea in your situation. Especially when you've been dating for a couple of years now and every holiday you have yourself all psyched up to be getting a ring as part of the celebration so you can stop explaining why you're not married yet.
Commonplace or not, that advice is absolutely cringe-worthy! Is that what you really want? To manipulate someone you love and respect into marrying you?
Do you honestly think happily ever after is going to happen when you start out with a threat?
Men Like Confident Women
We've heard this over and over again. But threatening is not at all the same as carrying yourself with confidence. In fact, it could be viewed as the complete opposite.
Take a step back for a moment and look at the environment that behavior creates for your relationship. What comes to mind for me is conflict and resentment. Not love, respect, trust, and admiration.
This should be obvious, but...
An Engagement Should Be Entered into by Both Man and Woman Enthusiastically and Willingly
Take a step back from the ultimatum ledge.
You are a wonderful woman. He is lucky to have you.
Maybe he really doesn't understand what a special woman you are, but is strong-arming him into doing what you want really what's best for your relationship?
There are plenty of ways to breakdown your white knight's armored shell and let you fully into his heart. Ways that you can approach him and your relationship without having to compromise yourself.
You just need a few lessons in the male mind and make a few simple adjustments to the way you interact with him. More on that below.
But if those simple adjustments seem like to much work for you and...
You're Convinced an Ultimatum Is the Way to Go...
Just know this:
Using an ultimatum to fulfill your hearts desire of getting that engagement ring is pretty much committing relationship suicide because your delivery must be authentic!
In other words, the "all or nothing" approach by women to men about marriage adds so much pressure that the relationships usually crumble.
You need to be ready to be done. Completely. If your ultimatum is "now or never" you have to be ready to pack up and leave. Even if it means downgrading your quality of living and moving out on your own.
You see, staying in a relationship after you've issued an ultimatum like this (for marriage or anything else) and he says "I'm not ready" or "not yet" or anything other than "Your so right, I'm with you on this" will result in you losing all your credibility.
He will never have to take your requests serious again because you just proved he doesn't have to.
If you decide you must, only issue an ultimatum if you are certain you are ready to hear the truth and are willing to take action on his response - whatever that may be.
Instead, Make His Heart Light Turn Green
The good news is there are other ways to open his heart and his mind to marriage. As stated above, you simply need to learn how to break through your knight's armor and make his heart light turn green.
Don't beat yourself up for considering an ultimatum. There are better ways to open his heart, it's just no one has shared them with you yet. You didn't know and it's not your fault.
Getting him to realize on his own that he wants to pop the question is a MUCH better way to go and you don't have to worry about deploying threats and dangerous ultimatums to the one you love.
Simply go here and learn how to turn your knight in shining armor's heart light green.
Put an End to the Lies and Myths You've Been Taught about Relationships
We've all grown up with message in media, magazines and marketing about what it takes to have a good relationship. Including body image messages: the skinny pretty ladies will get men to truly love them - and other such complete garbage.
One of the big lies about marriage and long term relationships is that love is enough. It's not. But if you continue to believe these lies then you will end up in what relationship expert TW Jackson calls a BTA relationship. Better Than Alone.
Better than alone!?! How tragic! You don't want that. And I don't want that for you.
For a closer look at how these lies are damaging your chances at a loving relationship, including marriage with a man who truly loves you, go here and TW Jackson will explain this all in a light and enlightening way that I think you'll enjoy.
He also gives you simple actions you can take immediately to start connecting more deeply with your man and stop doing the things that are turning him cold - or turning his heart light red as TW explains in this video.